Blogging daily, day 3

Yesterday, I thought it is Friday! Hihi, well, it almost was. I finished my post some minutes before midnight. Now it is Friday and its early morning.

I woke up with a thought. I am not shy. Why do I keep saying that about myself? Just because I do not speak too much, do not like to act too loudly, does not mean I am shy. I even played main character in theatre few years ago and what a fantastic experience that was! I was an Aladdin 🙂  And it was in Spanish. While I am Czech. My partner is from Holland and we met in Spain. In order to understand each other, we speak English. One could say, I learned to Speak English in Spain. Funny.

 

because I decided to write something every day, I keep on it. I figured out, the best time is in the morning, but it is not so easy done as said. I took that waitress job in pub, it is only few hours a day, some days a week. I start at 10am.

I wish to have the morning for myself, but does not matter how quiet I am, and how early I wake up, the younger girl of me, wakes up just few minutes after that. And requires my attention. She does feel, not having enough, and she is right in some way. It is a big change. I always was with them. Home.

because we lived far away from family, or friends (that could be aunts and uncles) they are not used to be without me. In fact, It was overwhelming sometimes, I basically locked myself out of ordinary living. Hermit life.

That is no more true, and at current moment  I do not feel like live that life again in near future. I feel like be with people, I feel it is good for girls now to socialize. They have very strong base, good heart, decent knowledge. Different then most kids. Basically, we were doing unschooling. I just let them be, do what they like. Yes, we got into troubles. Yes, we will have to solve that, in order to get back to society. But nobody ever will take things away, that they learned by living in nature, surrounded by love and inner family.

All the staff, that is tought in schools, they will learn easily, if they will either have to, or want to. They can read and write and do some math. They know about Bitcoin. They know about consistency, because I am learning that.

They are able to make decisions, they have cognitive thinking, they are very creative, artistic and musical. It is all in them.  They do care about others, about animals, about nature.

They are not an angels of course. They do have shortcomings, they argue with each other (that drives me crazy), they make mess.

I am not trying to make a perfect beings from them. I just see the foundation, and the fact, that they are different than most kids in their age. It wont be always an advantage, of course. It probably be not always easy for them.

But they will find a way to deal with it.

And the word do need quality people, more than ever now, when many are brainwashed or nicer said, having inverted values.

 

What about me? How living so many year abroad helped me?

I left, because of some kind of knocking on my heart. Hard to explain. For three years I was living in beautiful little town call Cesky Krumlov, and at some point I though I am gonna die there. I had friends, dog, fun…job at hostel as a receptionist (longest ever, I lasted 3 years). At some point tought, I started to ask myslef….what about when you are 40 years old, do you wanna still be at the reception? And I found out, no is the answer….

 

Now I am forty. Actually I will be 41 in few weeks.

 

If I shall do a recap, of what I have learnt….it would look like this:

 

When I came to the hostel, I was terrified to make a reservations online. I could hardly write an email, then. Everybody around me was cool, did something creative…I was the girl, who people like to be around, but I also felt bit “stupid” and not creative. (once my friend Blanka and Tomas, while we were walking our dogs at riverbank told me: Misha, you are not stupid. Many people do not know things, but they do not show it. They pretend to know, nod the head. You always ask, if you do not know or understand. I remember those words after 15 years)

 

Anyhow.

I became really creative when Anika and Paola were born. I can call myself creative person. Not only in art, but in life generally.

I was not musical. I was blocked, actually. You know, these experiences from childhood. Now I can play guitar, keyboard, I invented guitar theory….(I met this guy, father of our girls, he came to Spain to learn flamenco guitar. I  And he told me: everybody can learn guitar. because I took a course of drawing with right brain hemisphere, just before I left, and because I made a big shift in my head through the pic I actually draw and made me believer, that lot is possible, I did believed him, and began with music).

I can make website, and bits of coding. (I was trying to make life by doing what I like)

I learn to perform in theatre. I learn English and some Spanish. Little bit of graphic. Not that I could be hired by someone, I do not even want that. But for myself.

I know about natural living shelters, about different diets, I know whats healthy and whats not.

I learned about Bitcoin and keep learning.

I learned conventional music theory.

 

So, while I could regret, sometimes, those  years out. As we did not always had full bellies, could not just have a koffee in bar, about cinema or similar staff not even talk…..while I could regret, and sometimes I did, I have to keep focus of what it gave me, and what opportunities are lying infront of me!

What I do regret is, that I cut myself out. Somehow, how the people were in my heart, they were part of my reality. Time went quickly, years passed. With a shock, last year I found out, that one of my dearest friend died, passed away, and I did not even know, she was ill. Luckily for myself, I came to that town just at the day of her funeral.

It is a year now, and still, every now and then, I have that strong disbelieve feeling.

This event though, played big part of the journey of quitting hermit life and making changes. I do like people, and I wanna be close to them.

I am happy to be alive….

 

I love you, Anika, Paola, Leon.

I love you, my friends who I am not in touch with. Blanka, I think often of you.

I think of my friends in Spain too. Thank you Katrin, Sherene, Elizabeth for being part of my life. Thank you to your children for being friends with mine.

Thank you Lesley for being neighbour, and director in theatre and getting the best and unknown out of me! Thank you Annie for letting us stay in the dome, I loved it there.

Thank you Steve, for talking to me about Bitcoin, and I am sorry that you do not like BSV and we are not so much friends anymore.

Thank you people of Las Aplujarras.

Thank you to my friends from Cesky Krumlov, and I hope we will meet this year, probably after summer, ….

Thank you Janicka and kids, we are coming to visit you soon and have fun and practice Czech language 🙂

Thank you Ryan X Charles, my best teacher the last two years, and thank you Miguel for helping me understand the little codes of MB.

Thank you Dr. Craig Wright for creating Bitcoin.

Thank you Mr. Scatchman, for teaching me as well. Honestly our conversation last year, help me as well to move away from BCH.

Thank you Ed, for spreading love and helping people.

Thank you Satoshi Doodles for being my online friend and awesome artist.

Thank you all…….there is many many others, that did directly influence my life and learning journey, …

 

Thank you mum and dad for bringing me out, thank you my family. You are awesome and I am happy to be now close by you.

Thank you Lilly that you going to the conference with me 😉

 

Thank you Misha, that you never give up, that you follow your heart and keep learning.

 

May good things keep happening….

 

Well, this was a nice start of a day.

 

 

If you feel to comment, this is your space :)